Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Ever noticed that your rate of making new friends decreases over the years? Yes, it is a cliché, but sometimes the realization just hits you, and its not a good feeling. Because its so difficult to retain your old friends given geographical distances and the rapid pace with which people change… and there is more people you are losing touch with than getting back in touch with. Till a point when I feel that with time will I just be left with one or two people I can call friends? Maybe some of you do not identify with what I am saying, I am more of a people person, and have always had a lot of friends around me. And feel a bit lost when I am not surrounded by a million friends. No, I am not cribbing, I am lucky to have my best friend always beside me, but its just a passing thought.

I am working on a strategy assignment with a senior strategy consultant who has been in Sweden for 2 months and will be leaving this weekend. We have developed a very good rapport and have discussed on topics ranging from politics, philosophy, life, marriage, children, career, consulting, company vision and what not. And yesterday he was telling me how strange it is… the way we meet people, gel well with them, have an amazing time, and then just “scatter”. I like the word “scatter” even though its probably not the most relevant word to use here. Because it signifies what I feel about friends I have had a great time with. We haven’t grown apart, we haven’t lost our friendship, we haven’t stopped thinking about the good times, we haven’t stopped craving to get back and recreate those magical moments. We have just scattered, and its just so tough to gather all the pieces and put it back together. And I am in the phase of my life where all old friends are getting married, having kids, going abroad and changing jobs with lightening speed. So it’s a bit weird when you find your engg. college friend on Orkut, and in the first pic it’s a single photo of him, and you think man, hes not changed at all, it seems just yesterday when we were hanging out at the run down “tapri” outside college and ogling at pretty girls. And in the next pic he is standing with his wife and two kids with the NY skyline behind. And there is a sudden disconnect. Have things changed SO much? Will we still be able to get back together someday and laugh at the same jokes. Will he be scandalized if I tell him the latest dirty joke I have heard, just like old times? Will his wife understand the bond we share, the extreme times we have gone together in college, violent ragging by drunk seniors, student politics and college romances? Will life ever be the same, or will all the memories also scatter like the friends?

Sometimes they find me a bit too sensitive and mushy, but I like holding on to the friends I have.. sometimes a bit too much. Maybe its because at times like these I understand their value!
Just a weird nostalgic thought!


  1. I totally understand what you're going through.
    I'm sort of a gregarious person myself and love having people around me. But to be honest, in all those 100 people around me I would just be close friends with a handful of them (sometimes not even a handful).
    I studied in an all-girls school. I had quite a few friends (close mind you). But then college and graduation completely changed my friendsphere! We now hardly ever meet up and even if we do it's just through the bloody internet because each of us is 'scattered' all across the globe!
    Your post really left me nostalgic and melancholic to a certain extent. I never really had given much thought to this.
    Well, now maybe I should!

  2. great write up. i wish i could publish it in my BDD group. what say?

  3. "Ever noticed that your rate of making new friends decreases over the years? "the first line itself made me think about my friends..
    With the marital status of friends changing and thus their priorities changing, it indeed make things a bit difficult to converse with them like in those carefree days or may be its because of the geographical distances that come between...

  4. I like the word scatter here!

  5. Just had a fight with the best buddy and I understand that the void is more painful than the physical seperation.
    Yes I cling to the people i adore and find it easy to let go, but having said this, I guess accepting the situations is one of the less painful way out! [havng said this, i do not mean to give up n my friend]