Sunday, March 28, 2010

Quarter Life Crisis

I will be honest. I was browsing through the tonnes of material on the net I usually end up reading on a lazy Sunday and I stumbled across THIS ARTICLE, and this post is inspired by it (recommendation: READ the article). Well I am kinda on the other side of quarter life, but I guess I was in such a rush during my early 20s that I completely forgot about the whole crisis thing and completely forgot to have it, and it hit me a bit late. So, I am in kind of a quarter life crisis now. And maybe because it has come late in my life, it has come in with a vengeance. I know, I know, its just a phase and it will go by, but what the ****, it stinks, and I do hope it goes by faster than I think.

So I can imagine all you 40+ guys laughing hysterically at the idea of a quarter life crisis. Sirs, ma’ms… do not laugh, the world was kind of different when you were 25. There was no PS3, (or PS2 for that matter) to aspire for and to play against. There were no internet romances, or break-ups. And if you are an Indian, I am sure there are very little chances that you would be dealing with a relationship with a girl from a different state, or a different country, or her parents. Very little chance also that you would be wondering which country to settle in, and if you should be in the gaming industry, the IT industry, the ITES industry or a regular conventional industry like the Travel industry. Whether you should change jobs when your job pays more than it should and is more exciting than you thought a job would be, but you are still getting bored. So ladies and gentlemen, do not laugh. Take a step back and let the new generation endure their quarter life with grace.

And for all the below 20 guys (do below 20 guys even read blogs?), brace for the impact, its going to be bigger and worse for you guys *evil snigger*. And for those between 25 and 30, hold my hand, I empathize with you.. it shalt pass, and we shall come out of it stronger and more stable than ever before!

I have cribbed about this a number of times and I will crib about it again. In my current phase of life it is SO difficult to find people who are the same age as me. At work, EVERYBODY is older to me.. don’t ask me why, I have no clue. And in my social circles also, people are either AT LEAST 10 years older to me, or are in the age range between 4 and 13 (the offspring of my ‘friends’). Hence it is SO tough to find someone to relate to within my physical circles of friends. In my virtual circle, which transcends all geographical boundaries on earth, of course I have a zillion friends in the same phase and stage of life. But it’s a completely different feeling to sit over a beer and crib about how your life sucks because everything seems to be a dilemma. This I cant do with a friend settled in the US or working in the UK or those back in India. And so I take my only other alternative, to blog about my rants.

Of course, at quarter life (ok ok.. I am not 25 and I don’t pretend to be, so lets call it a couple of years after quarter life), one has much more fun than say in your childhood, teenage or adolescence. I can eat all I want, have all the excesses that I ever dreamed of and spend all the money I want to on all the stupid things that were earlier forbidden. But the million dilemmas in life just kill me. If I could I wish I’d not have to take a single more decision in life, but till people turn 40, life is all about decisions (or maybe it haunts you even after you’re 40). Whom to date, whom to marry, where to study, what to study, where to work, which industry, what job profile, which company, which city/country to settle in, when to have kids, how many kids to have, when to change your job, prioritize gf/wife over job or vica versa, balance parents with in-laws etc etc. And when you start having more than 2 of these dilemmas, well, God bless you, your quarter life crisis has arrived.

A few days back I was talking to a few ladies who are close friends of mine from school/college. They happen to be 1 to 2 years elder to me or my age, and all of them were totally PSYCHED out about turning 30. And I totally couldn’t relate to either one of them. Is it that I am kind of abnormal that I am totally at ease about growing older, or does it have something to do with “men become more attractive as they get older” phenomenon? But unlike Joey in FRIENDS, I have absolutely no qualms about turning 30 and cannot understand why people make such a big deal of it. And maybe this has something to do with being the youngest guy in my workplace :sigh: !!

This reminds me of the FRIENDS episode : TOW They All Turn 30:

And with this note, I bid thee farewell for now. The weeks have been busy, but the next week is a short work week and a long holiday stint, and I need to tell you about my ventures in research and publication (boring), my upcoming trip to Barcelona (exciting), my parents visit (really exciting), and a probable road trip to Norway… but all of this next time :).

P.S. Have put a cute FB sharing gadget on the right hand column under Archives, and am really excited about it, even though I never write anything worth sharing :).

Image courtesy:


  1. Merlin, I know what you feeling..I belong to the same age group..and for you, people are 10 years older to you; in my case they are all well settled in their 50s to 80s age group!!!

    I am the youngest person owning a law firm and get so many raised eyebrows when I say I have my own practice (considering my body frame too)..I can't help if I look younger than my age and too young to start my own firm..but I am happy with that!!

    oops, I started my own rants here..but I can relate to this post re..

    PS: I don't mind growing older either :)
    PPS: I am sharing this post :D

  2. @Neha: I agree... owning a law firm when you are 20 something is AWESOME! Abt your PS, well you are the first girl I have met who has said that, about PPS, wow, I am flattered!

  3. how can I not agree with this post when I am standing at the epicentre of the QLC. the article link that you mentioned, i have read earlier too and shared via status message in Orkut too.. and the notion that you talk about when you say “men become more attractive as they get older", I second that:).

    In teen age, we are in a hurry to grow adults and earn money but i think i would like to relax in the 20s for eternity;D

  4. @ Wishes: Welcome to the QLC club :). Remember.. life begins at 30, we can do so many things in our 30s post QLC that we cant do now!! :)

  5. He he he Totally relate to this what you said.. Blimey I never thought this way .. Recently last monday we had my managers 50th B'day, Today I have a bollegues 50th and Me secretary is going to celebrate her 52nd two months time..

    and its a team of 6 we have here.. one is 64 and I have no clue how old is the other man, he rarely talks so i am assuming he is OLD..

    I bet you can understand WHAT i am going through, working all the time with this lot here :) geeeeeeee and Actually its a Myth about life begins at 30.. I am told its all about 40's these days ..

  6. Buddy, I think everyone in the QLC range would relate to what you have written.. it can suck sometimes.. I had a period of about a few months when I felt that I wanted time to sit still and didn't want to grow up.. but now, I don't mind it at all.. as long as you are enjoying life, age is just a number..

  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  8. "the world was kind of different when you were 25"
    i totally agree to this one..they will nvr know, will they? life throws at u too much at a time and well, one wonders..and blogs :)
    and am dealing with three of those questions you raised, and boy, am i feeling stretched or what! and i havent even entered the QLC yet :P
    PS: will be joining it pretty soon though ;)

  9. :O Quarter life crisis before reaching quarter life!!
    What is the world coming to! ;)

  10. God thats depressing merlin! :(


    I acutally had my quarter life crisis at 19. It was awful. But it completely transformed me. I feel another one coming on soon. However, I believe I am strong enough to handle it and persevere.
    It's very difficult, to be who you want to be , without all these social/cultural/economic/psychological/and obligatory decisions weighing you down, I completely understand what you are going through.

    but seriously. Depressing post man. hahahaha

    except for the evil snickering part. I definitely laughed out loud there.
    I actually chocked on the water i was drinking.

    You're post almost killed me. hahahahahahah

  11. you are adorable - you know that right ;) keep that in your mind, when you have QLC, MLC or ccc.. !

  12. @ Lost - Thats amazing that you had yours at 19 and were still able to handle it... I was a total kid when i was 19! And I know you'll be able to come out of any others that come your way.... looking forward to your post!!

    @ Shivi - Thanks... you ALWAYS know how to make my day :)

  13. :)
    Quarter is really not 25 anymore..
    starts way early these days :P

  14. 1. I think the moment you called them Sirs and Maams, any self respecting 40 year old would have stopped laughing. I just had to convince the 13 year old younger sis of one friend not to confess her love to the 14 year old younger bro of another friend - do not dismiss the below 20 year olds, they are smarter than us.

    2. "And when you start having more than 2 of these dilemmas, well, God bless you, your quarter life crisis has arrived." -- When you try to balance between gf/wife , God save you, your nemesis has arrived. :P

    3. I like that FRIENDS episode. Always makes me wonder how different I will be when I turn 30.