Marriage

Is it true that guys have one preference when they are selecting (or trying to get :P) a girlfriend and a completely different preference when it comes to deciding on a girl for a wife?
I think they do. And I am generalizing here. Of course there are exceptions; I believe I have been one. But I am a Cancerian, I think all Cancer guys should be exempted from this discussion. They want to get married to every second girl they like (remember Ross Geller?). I just realized that I am starting to sound more and more like my girl by the day… talking about sun signs, I don’t even believe in them. Damn I never thought I would ever sound like anyone ever :).
I started thinking of this because lately I have noticed the dilemma some of my bachelor (and bachelorette) friends are going through. And I have formulated a new theory: From 13 to 25 years of age, it’s the guys chasing the girls. After that its more the other way round (true only in the Indian and NRI context).

I see a lot of heads shaking in disagreement. Let me refer you to my previous post HERE. Also, the logic is this, all girls in the age group between 25 to 30 years of age in India have been brought up with the concept of “good-girls-don’t-have-boyfriends”. Some of them have tried once or twice, but have been comfortable with the social trend that marriage is something that’s not ones own responsibility. But the world and society has suddenly changed. Love marriage (believe me this term does not exist in the western world, because every marriage is by default a love marriage) has become more the norm than the exception. And there is more fear in everyone’s mind about not finding the right one through the arranged marriage route. “How can I spend the rest of my life with someone I have known for only a month? What if he is repulsive? What if he doesn’t have a sense of humor? What if he is a super conservative? What if he suppresses my spirit” I have even heard concerns like “What if he is a wife-beater?”. They are all virtual concerns, you can say all those things for a guy who has been your boyfriend for a year, he might turn a wife beater after marriage for all you know. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but people change after marriage. They lose their sense of humor and they tend to become super conservative. There are no guarantees in marriage. However when you have a boyfriend and he gives you a lot of attention, you have the false comfort and security that he will make a good husband. A guy who sits quietly on the sofa while his parents talk about what kind of a daughter-in-law they are looking for might not give a girl the same kind of comfort. Though sometimes I feel the odds of catching a good husband is more with the guy on the sofa, at least you know for sure that he will marry you :).

And so, after 25, girls suddenly realize they are in a weird phase. The choice is to either find good marriageable material at the earliest, or be chained to one of the morons whose revolting pictures the parents keep coming up with. The situation becomes desperate. Hence every guy in ones vision turns to a potential husband. I am not exaggerating, I have quite a few bachelor/bachelorette friends who will agree. Hence my theory, from 13 to 25 years of age, it’s the guys chasing the girls. After that its more the other way round.

So now lets talk about the guys. They have suddenly started to get more attention, and more options. Most girls are scared of living the life of spinsters till they die, most guys are excited of living the life of bachelors till they die. As time goes by, girls are under pressure of losing their looks and other “attractive assets”, guys have suddenly started looking more mature, more sensible, more sophisticated, more stable, and more attractive. And I see sudden changes in these bachelor friends of mine. The classmate who couldn’t stop drooling about the ugliest girl in college and fantasize about teachers, and not even spare the cleaning lady, is now discussing about how a particular girl does not have the intellect, and does not know how to cook. I couldn’t help laughing. And wondering, ah.. so now he is looking for a wife. Guys who were desperate to see girls with skimpy clothes now look with scorn if a girl is wearing something even slightly provocative. Guys who would jump from a mountain to talk to any girl now get scared about being pestered and trapped into marriage if a girl even takes the initiative to talk to them.

One of my female friend remarked, as time goes by, the good guys get picked up real fast, and the ones that are left behind in the market are not the best of the breed. I do not quite agree, but maybe the number of eligible people (both male and female) start becoming smaller as age progresses. And combine this with the theory that guys don’t mind staying bachelors, and girls fear staying spinsters and you get the complete reasoning behind why the whole story turns around after 25. Moral of the story, GET MARRIED!! ASAP. I rest my case.