Saturday, October 10, 2009

Blogging Woes

I am in a bad mood. I really feel like lashing out. So please do not feel obligated to read on unless it amuses you to read the thoughts of a guy in a really bad mood.

If you are thinking I will now write down the reason of my bad mood, I am sorry to disappoint you. I do not know the reason. I have absolutely no clue. And before you label me as insane, I would say in my defense that there has been too much piling up and I guess it has all reached a point where its just brimming over.

I am kind of disillusioned with blogging. I know, I know, you all told me so. But it was fun till it lasted. And I know most of my close friends have already gone through this phase (yes Iya, SG et al).. the phase of finding the joys of blogging, reaching peaks, having blog fans and then finding that the blog is not able to justify the freedom of expression. That there is too much pressure to write something or not to write something. Or that the comfort level with known people reading the blog is not good. So I have reached the last phase. I can either shut down the blog, or make it limited to people who are really close and who live in the real world. People who accept me for what I am. People who dont have weird expectations from me. I am sorry but I cannot blog about Obama winning the Noble Peace prize because I have some more real life concerns to take care of. No.. this is not meant as an insult to all the people writing about serious world issues. I write about generic stuff too... but not when my own life is kinda all tangled up and needs straightening up. Sigh! I told you.. this will be more of a venting post.

So there are a lot of other things about blogging that has been bothering me. Maybe this is the most unpopular thing anyone ever said on any blog post ever... but the motive behind me blogging wasnt exactly popularity so I shall say it anyway. I do not believe in Blog Awards. I respect all those who do, but I dont. To the extent that when someone gives me an award, I do not post it on my blog. And this has resulted in lost blog friends and lost blog followers. I do not mean to provocate you into a pointless debate, but my point of view is that my blog is for me to express my views irrespective of who likes it and who doesn't. I appreciate appreciation, however self created or passed on jpeg images titled with some fancy names to be put up on my blog template as awards is going a bit too far. I am not against fancy things or aesthetics, and would put them up for the heck of it, but my objection is on the principle that when you give an award to someone and refrain from giving it to someone else, in effect you are saying that one blog is better than the other. It is crazy. How can you compare blogs? It is like comparing apples with pears. So here was one blogger who was a regular reader of my blog. He/She gave me a very generous award.. I was honored, however did not think that I could put it up and declare my blog to be better than others and hence I went and thanked him/her on the comments section and then did not put up the award on any of my posts. The person in question stopped following my blog henceforth. I also heard of bloggers not getting awards and getting disappointed and not talking to the person giving the award. Also heard of bloggers changing their writing style/template/content to be more popular. Well.. this whole concept beats me. Seems to do more damage than good, and seems to serve no purpose. We are all mature people in blogosphere, so if I really appreciate someones blog, why cant I just go and comment on his/her post and let him/her know how much I liked the post or the blog? Why do I need to compare someones blog with someone elses and give an award to one person and not give it to someone else? Who am I to decide what is good and what is not? If a blog has received tonnes of awards does it really mean that it is better than others.... or even that it is really good? If not then what is the point in the awards at all? If it is just a meaningless fun thing then why do I see it causing more harm than good to all my fellow bloggers? I honestly do not think that my writing is worthy of any awards, and I do not think I am great enough to decide if someone else should get an award. Hence, ladies and gentlemen, I shalt take a polite bow and back out of the awards section. And if by doing this I offend someone, then my sincere and humble apologies to the person. For all those who do believe in awards, I respect your belief and do not intend to offend you. This is just my stated opinion, so kindly keep me out of the award circle :).

I have a feeling this post is going to make me very unpopular. And maybe I will not have to shut down my blog... I will be labeled as a crazy person and left alone with zero readership :). I love my blog followers from the bottom of my heart, but when they expect pressurize me to behave and write in a certain way, I feel that the whole purpose of blogging is being lost.

Bear with me. I have been down with flu and working on the escalation with high fever. And have had friends ignoring me... And the work escalation just seems never ending. It seems so impossible when the client and my own company super senior execs are on call and debating on a topic which is simply not relevant to the escalation. Now I know, there IS something called being TOO high up on the corporate ladder. SIGH!

Hopefully will write a more calm and "happy" post soon. Till then let me go spoil some friendships and get back at all the people who have been ignoring me! :). I am in a wicked mood.


  1. take care Merlin...I am sure things will be fine soon...btw, the things you mentioned in this post, awards, Obama, I have a post on both my blogs...I like them and I like the topics, but only because you are not fine with the concept, will I not comment? No, I don't think that way...I started following ur blog after reading few posts of urs and not immediately, nor I comment here as I expect them back...and I wont comment on ur post if I don't like it...I follow this policy with all the bloggers whom I follow...

    phew, whats wrong with me? u r upset and I started with my own blabbering...sorry bout

  2. @Neha: As I said in my post... I have nothing against people who write about Obama or who believe in Blog Awards... in fact most blogs I read and follow religiously (yours is one of them) deal with both these topics and I like reading about it. The only problem is that I cannot participate, and would not want someone to get alienated from me or dislike me just because I refuse to participate. It is like someone writing about smoking, and I can read about it and understand why that person enjoys smoking without being obligated to smoke myself. :P Bad example, but dont know how else to explain it... :)

  3. hey Merlin...just write whenever you feel like and comment only if u feel like commenting from all your heart..not fearing the pressure whether the other person will like it or not..we are here to express our thoughts..
    if you ask for my personal opinion i do have been tageed several times and have been awarded which i have accepted very humbly but i have never take up any tags on my blog coz my motive of blogging is to express my emotions as and when i required and nothing else..
    but i do appreciate bloggers who take out time and make such awards for us..and i dont think the number of followers and comments should matter much coz at the end of the day we write for ourself..but yes when all of a sudden a follower disappears then it does hurt..
    Just be what you are and be true to yourself thats it!! :)
    and do take care of urself.
    Goodday dear!

  4. Where did you vanish?
    Good to have you cheer up :)

  5. Merlin, everyone needs to vent their spleen from time-to-time and you need not justify a sour mood, we all have them.

    Blogs are interesting, and I enjoy reading them for the window it gives into the thoughts and lives of others. Try not to feel pressured, and always attend to life first!

    As for blog awards, or contests, or any of the other things I think people just want to form a sense of community. A world within the world. I've found myself talking about connection a lot today, but really, that's all it is. Not a judgment of worth, but proof of being connected, and perhaps of making others feel so too.

    It's all in the angle at which we choose to view something, isn't it? Take care!

  6. Thanks for your comment Shimp.. I was in a real bad mood... and venting... I would still keep away from blog awards though :)

  7. "we are all mature people in blogosphere"!!?!!??....:)) where is this ideal space you exist in...?

    i enjoyed your post and my thoughts are in alignment with yours....about blogging any way...

    darn!! are gaining popularity with your rants !!...just kidding :)) the hope that you are in a more congenial fram of mind now !!

  8. I blog because I just love the writing process.... readers or not. But I truly appreciate that some come to enjoy the writing and too share with theirs. It's a lovely world! :-)

    You wrote a good one with this post.. being honest. And that's what makes for a great blog.