Global "Gyaan" from the Global Citizen

Clicked by me, Barcelona, Summer 2010

I flaunt my "wanderer" status. Like all the time. Although I am not the most well travelled person I know of.... 15+ countries, 3 continents, 50+ cities, I have known better scores. But I can easily say that I am " better travelled" than most people I meet. But as one teenager recently told me, it is not the traveling, really, that makes one a global citizen. It is the attitude. Maybe. Traveling certainly enhances it. And I have no idea why auto-correct keeps asking me say traveling instead of travelling. Darn this american engish :P

There are only 2 kinds of people in the world. Those that are global citizens and those that are not. So what is the hype all about? It is simple, when you are brought up in a certain way, in a certain city, country and continent, you have notions, characteristics, culture and opinions which are influenced in a big way by that background. It is inevitable, even for global citizens. The difference with the global guys is that they can look beyond it. Be a less judging person. Not be governed by localized thoughts. Understand and relate to someone across the world. Who might be of a weird color. Speaking a weird language. Wearing weird clothes. Eating weird food. Behaving in a weird way. In the global world, there is no weird. Because you have seen so much weird, that weird stops being weird. Because in the global world, you understand that where you come from is the weirdest of them all. And you are comfortable with it.

The problem is, everyone thinks they are global. It is almost like how everyone thinks they are not judging. A friend recently told me she is not judging. And I asked her what she would think about a girl having a relationship with 2 guys simultaneously. Or of nude beaches. Whether she would relate to threesomes. Or orgies. And she reconsidered her "non judging" opinion. Saying you are not "judging" is a relative thing. Like being global. It has degrees. But like everything else in life, if you clear a certain basic level, you will feel comfortable with the fraternity. 

There are, of course the fakes. I have been bumping across a lot of those fake NRIs back home, people who have never stepped out of the country, or stepped out on that one stand-alone vacation/business trip (usually to Nepal), yet consider themselves an expert on global culture.  But they snicker at racist remarks, have notions about continental food (the real one, not the fancy continental restaurant in your local mall), and cannot understand most foreign accents. They do not know there is no language called "chinese", cannot tell you what caviar is made of and do not know that Montenegro is a country. Sorry, I will not call you global just because you watch CNN.

When you are a global citizen, you have a problem with people who want to stick to their stereotypes. Of course, I feel more comfortable with Indian people too, but I don't limit my friend circle to them. Some people I know give me the impression that they are working in a global work environment only because they are forced to. For heavens sake, broaden your horizons, stop being a "frog-in-the-well". Look around you. Learn. Grow. Mix. Try having a steak for a change. Or fajitas. Or tapas. Ask your Nigerian colleague about the language they speak and your Romanian friend the food they eat. Date a Turkish girl. Have some beer with the Irish guy. Dance with the American couple. 

Or if nothing works.. do this...

Clicked by me, Parc Guell, Barcelona, May 2010

And if you have not had the chance to socialize with anyone outside your country. Then I have only one piece of advice for you. Travel.

Be a global citizen. Break your local mould. You will discover how "Indian" or "British" or "American" you really are when you associate with others who are not like you. It will open your mind to bigger and better things. And you will stop worrying about the smaller insignificant things in life.

And yes, the teenager was right, it IS all about the attitude, so get that straightened out first!

P.S. I know that the official definition of the term Global Citizenship is quite different.... but you know what I mean don't you ;) 

Jack of All Trades

I hate stereotypes. Indians abroad are all techies. Or people in IT are nerds. Or Ph.D. scholars are geeks. Or good looking NRIs are players. Or guys don't like cooking. Things of that sort. The world is full of them. My life is in sorts a contradiction to many. And I have lived trying to refute a lot of them. I am a bit tired really, and wary. So sometimes I let people be. I let them talk, believe and spread the stereotypes. Till they realize that I am a contradiction of sorts. Then sometimes they shut up.

I know stereotypes are born out of generalizations. Generalizations are sometimes statistically more probable. If someone says he is European, there is a high probability he will be white Caucasian. But it's wrong to assume that to begin with. Just like it is wrong to address a chairperson of a meeting as "Dear Sir" in a letter when you do not know the person's sex. Or to call him a chairman. No, I am not feminist, but if I understand why that could piss off a lady. Like it pisses me off when someone asks me "Are you a developer?" when they get to know I am Indian and in IT.

So I am in IT. I am Indian. I live abroad. I am a guy. I am also a Ph.D. scholar. As I narrate these sentences, you start forming a picture. Don't get me wrong, I do too. White ill-fitting formal shirt. Blue baggy jeans. Expensive ridiculously colored sneakers which don't match. A laptop bag. Oiled hair neatly combed like a "good boy", or totally untidy. Looking a bit lost at some international airport. 

So it surprises a few that I don't adhere to the image. The clan who do, actually get mad at me for not falling in line. The other Ph.D. scholars find it strange that I am in the basketball and football teams at my company. Or that I am dressed in suits like the "corporates". My Indian friends think its strange that I ice skate. The other guys snicker when I tell them I love cooking. My Indian "onsite" colleagues look incredulous when they notice I gel my hair into spikes. My weight training mentor at the gym thinks it's ridiculous that I would want to have a Ph.D. degree. My Ph.D. guide thinks its ridiculous that I would want to do weight training at the gym.

I can go on and on. The point is that I don't like sticking to stereotypes. And I feel there is too much focus on being the "master" of a few trades. I don't question those who are, I actually respect them. But don't stop there. Just because you became an actor doesn't mean you are banned from pursuing higher education. Or vica versa.

So I do it all. I love sports. Volleyball, basketball, football, cricket, table tennis. I could beat a few at most of them. I am not really the proverbial IT manager, I actually have a sense of humor. I love to ice skate, or at least I try to. I weight train at the gym. I blog... or again.. I try to. I watch European football, and marvel at how it is close to a religion in Europe. I study cultures. I have friends from all over the world, from countries most Indians haven't heard of. I love cooking, I love to learn ways of cooking from others, the French, the Croatians, the Latvians. I love teaching at the University, it opens up my mind to interact with youngsters from all over the world. I adore the research workshops, the passion in each researcher thrills me. I love my job, people say I am married to my company. I love the fact that it makes me meet so many new people from all over the world. I travel. I hold motivational workshops. I listen to club and trance, and to Bollywood music. I play Boule. I have formal training in short-movie making. I like photography. I have been a national level debator, oratory used to be my life. I am crazy about motorbikes, stunt biking is my passion. I live for road-trips to weird places. I like business meetings. I like beaches. I love the fjords.

And so I do it all. Don't type cast me. You might say I am not good at any of them, or maybe I am. It doesn't really matter. I believe that everything in life is worth a try. If you can be good at a few of them, that is great. If not, at least you tried. At least you will not have a lot of regrets in life on your death bed. You will identify with more people, understand how the world works. And most of all, your horizons will be much broader. Oh yes, I love being the Jack of All Trades!

Pic courtesy: http://www.designzzz.com/tips-for-making-more-money-as-a-graphic-designer/

Its Not All About The Money, Honey.

I will be honest with you. Money matters to me. Actually it does to everyone, except the monk who sold his Ferrari (poor guy, I could never read that book, I would not be able to bear the sorrow), it’s only that some people wouldn’t admit the relevance it has in their lives. I am not one of them. I am blatantly shameless about it. Money matters, I will never deny the fact. Give me the best job in the world, if it doesn't pay me well, I ain't moving nowhere. And don't give me the cliché of money not being able to buy happiness, puhleaze. It is always more comfortable to be crying in a limousine than on a bicycle. Point being, if money cannot buy you happiness, the lack of money cannot guarantee lack of sorrow either, so while scientifically we have established that there is no relationship between money and happiness, if given a choice I would prefer to be rich thankyouvermuch.

Then what am I doing writing about "Its not all about the money". Well, the key word in that sentence is ALL. My argument is only about the time when people start getting competitive about it. Money matters - but only to an extent. Don't go all psycho about it. Like with everything else in life, create your goals, achieve them, and then ---- chill. It is not a race. In the competition of hoarding, I would like to opt out, if you don't mind. Because I don't see a point. You aimed for a lifestyle, you got it. You aimed for certain things that money could buy for you, you got it. After that, what is the point? Especially, what is the point when you entire goal was stacking up, and nothing else? I cannot understand when people do that, like stack-up and then live in a miserly condition. Are they taking it all to their grave, like literally having gold plated platinum coffins? If not, is it only about the idea of hoarding, the numbers? If so then count me out, the money was not my end goal, it was only the means.

To tell you the truth, the whole number game is a pain in all the wrong places. I am a Marketing guy I tell you, though they did force some Finance subjects down my throat during MBA. I do make my investments and play around, but its a pain. I don't identify with those deriving orgasmic pleasures out of stock trading. Not my game. It again goes back to me saying, money is not the end goal for me, its just the means to get there.

So what are the end goals then? Not really objectively defined, but they have a lot to do with experiences. Having a variety of experiences. Through traveling, through interacting with different people, through having various professions. You might argue, those have nothing to do with money, especially the latter two, and yes, I have heard that argument before. True, everyone meets different kinds of people in their lives, but think about it, if I have lived, worked and traveled to 20 countries in 3 continents, I surely must have encountered a greater diversity than those who have never stepped out of their own country. If I have worked on 4 multi-national, multi-cultural organizations in 4 cities, with 4 very diverse roles and professions, I must have seen a much broader professional spectrum than those who have worked in . Regarding wanderlust, I can go on and on, there is too much written about how traveling is an education in itself. I am pursuing my Ph.D. now, and let it just suffice for me to say that I have learned a lot more from my travels than my formal education, and this is a school from which I will never, and don't want to, graduate. Of course not to trivialize the fact that formal education, in itself is a blessing, and a lot of people who have it, do not appreciate it. I can go on and on. Sports. Music. Art. Dance. And then some which are best left unmentioned. The list of experiences is endless. And those I feel are the end goal, not money in itself.

And although money enables you to achieve all this, it becomes the means to reach these pinnacles, I still see people, including some business school classmates, trying to compete with each other on the numbers. And I feel sorry for them. I still meet insanely rich men who have not experienced so many things that their money enables them to experience. I still stumble across rich men with no personalities because they have not used their money to gain experiences which enriches them. And to them I feel like saying: Its not about the money, honey.

If you are thinking "the true experiences which bring happiness in life are free", pardon me but I would beg to differ. And I would only agree to you if all the worlds governments stopped charging money for all tourism related activities. Traveling can change your life, and its not free. And if you have not traveled, you have not lived.

And yeah, if you live in Sweden, you just feel that extra bit of a right to share ABBA than others :)

Pic courtesy: debragrayelliott.blogspot.com

Just Another Phase

I have probably written about it somewhere sometime on my blog already. Everyone has. It is one of those favorite blogger topics. About the phases of life. I probably have written about it multiple times. Coz I used to be such a cliché blogger that I got a bit fed up of my own blog. Like someone somewhere said, that if I were some else, I wouldn't read me. No, not all the posts, really, I am quite the narcissist at times. But a lot of it. Like the ones where I have celebrated the birthday of my own blog. Ugh, that's lame really, corny even. Its almost equivalent to having a funeral for your iPhone. 

Yeah you guessed it right, I am a bit disillusioned. Pardon my skepticism and sarcasm, my sincere apologies if you expected a blog post celebrating my comeback. Nah, not the Merlin you knew. But what the heck, its a phase. Like all others, maybe it will pass, maybe it will get worse, maybe you won't like me anymore, but it doesn't matter, I call the new avatar I-don't-really-care. To tell you the truth, that is the formal name, the actual one starts with I-don't-... but what follows is something I choose not to publish.

So I have changed my views about blogging. Like I have been changing most things about my life. Cities, countries, professions, companies, girlfriends, friends... whoa.. I saw your eyebrow go up at girlfriend, and I noticed the look of exasperation when you read friends. Go ahead, judge me if you will. Oh yes, I change friends... like... all the time. Not all of them, but most of them. I can give you excuses like "I have never lived in any city for long" (lots of cliché posts about that one as well), "I have a traveling job", "All my friends have traveling jobs", "I don't live in my own country", "I have expat friends who move out" etc etc. but those would be only partially true. I don't know the real reason. It's not really that I don't keep in touch, coz I actually am over enthusiastic about that part. I am the most active facebooker, gtalker, skyper, probably a pest for some. I give calls in the middle of the night after 4 years of no contact and talk like we have talked everyday for the last 4 years. And yet, my friends change. I thought that is what everyone did, change friends... till FB happened. And then I see all my school friends hanging out together, engineering college friends vacationing together, and business school friends getting married in groups.

And I wonder, how I have never stuck around, I have changed gangs in the transition from school to engineering college, engineering college to first job, first job to business school, business school to Bangalore job group to Stockholm job group, to the current sets of friends which form my circle of "Indian Friends", "Expat Friends" and "Ph.D. Friends". And although I keep in touch with all the older gangs, my hang-out, vacationing, partying and weekend crashing is always with the "current" gang. Is that something that happens often, or am I weird? And what about the million something people I liked or who liked me, who still "faded" away? Does that happen to everyone?

Anyway, I digress. Point is that I live in phases. We all do. For some the phases are more clearly marked out than others. I have written about mine here and probably more places on this blog, and mine have been clearly marked. Each phase has lasted around 2-3 years. This one has been the longest, it will be 5 years in Sweden soon (I know! What the heck have I been doing in one city/country for so long!). And so, soon I will get restless, I have started getting restless already. I talk about how the battles won fail to quench my thirst here (highly recommended self advertising link). I am bored of finding excitement in signing multimillion dollar contracts, stacking up money for my old age and getting promotions at my work. I fill up my life with trying to get a sixpack body, a swedish drivers license, a Ph.D. in a record time line, beating the 50 something guys who hate me being so young, and becoming the best player at volleyball in my team but nothing seems to quench the thirst.

Point is, I am restless. Point is that all this stuff fills up my life, but it doesn't float my boat. Point is I feel restricted, held back, restrained. I feel like changing my country, my profession, my social circles and my life. So the question is, what is going to happen next? Answer is: I dont know ;)

Oh and I do need to write about what's been happening in my life lately. I might also stop being anonymous and publish pictures of me. Darn, I am so narcissistic, how did I manage being anonymous for so long?!

Pic: Me at Öland, Sweden

Nuggets of wisdom

They aren’t big chunks, nuggets they are, and small ones at that. But these are the random thoughts that have stirred my mind from time to time. Recently triggered from some heated discussions with various entities that I have chosen to call “friends” I decided to jot them down for the benefit of that far-off day when I shall not remember my own justification for having done or not done certain things. I actually wrote the headers as and when the thought struck me, and then thought it might be a good idea to elaborate, for my own good. Hence they might seem random to you, actually they do to me too. But sometimes random things, just like the sunscreen song, make sense when someday you can look back and join the dots. So let this be random for now.. till that someday when I do look back:

Everybody is somebody’s weirdo.

You are somebody’s weirdo too, so stop judging others. A lot of people genuinely don’t believe this. They genuinely believe that they are “normal”. I live in a country which has a culture of “lagom” which in Swedish means to do everything in moderation in order not to be “abnormal” in anyway. Except that they don’t understand that the entire concept of “normal” is relative. And its inevitable that the way you are, no matter just how impeccably you have behaved and existed as per your code of conduct, is still extremely weird for someone somewhere. Because the code of conduct varies. And stop thinking that you are in the majority. You have NO clue how many people live in China, or India.. or Africa for that matter.

Wishes and aspirations are exciting only till you achieve/get them

I was recently told someone that that person is envious of me. Envious of certain aspects about my life. It has not been the first time this has happened. I have been told to consider myself lucky. There are people who would give a hand and a leg to be where I am. To live abroad, to be able to travel around the world on such a frequent basis. To be financially so stable, to have a job I love so much and I am good at, etc etc. I have talked about this at length in a previous post, that I do appreciate the fact that I have all these things. But somehow, all of this is not as exciting now as it was when I was trying to achieve these things. Maybe I state the obvious, but hey, I didn’t know this, honestly. I thought that once I reach this point, I would have achieved the pinnacle of satisfaction and would not want anything else in life. Its quite the contrary. At least for some people, the mountain peak seems like a dream place from down below, and loses the charm of its superior height not too long after it has been scaled. Does this happen with everyone, or am I the weirdo here? The lesson here is, it’s so not worth being envious of anyone. Because only when you reach there, you will realize it wasn’t such a big deal.

You dont have to be a die-hard rock fan to appreciate rock music, though being a die-hard fan of anything always helps

Sounds weird to me now, this sentence, when I read it. Weird but true. I wanna go and shake up every person who is a die-hard fan of something and who doesn’t allow anyone else, who is not a die-hard fan, an opinion on the subject. The message is simple – yes, everyone appreciates passion, I look up to “die-hard-fan ship” but for heavens sake, stop monopolizing a topic of conversation or a discussion just because you are a die-hard fan. I am an IT management geek, and totally understand that non-IT folks might also have an opinion, I hope others do too!

People change, beliefs change, and there aren’t always tangible reasons you can put down in bullet points

I don’t know why there is always a big deal made out of this, or regarding the reasons for the change. For heavens sake people, grow up, and accept it as a fact of life. I am tired of being accused of changing. I am sorry but I do not have the aspirations I had when I was 10, and I don’t laugh at the same jokes as I did when I was 16. I am sorry if I do not harbour the same notions as I did when I was 20 or, gawk at blondes the way I did when I was 22. Oh yes, my beliefs about culture, people and life changed when I was in engineering college, then when I joined a job, then again when I pursued MBA and changed all over when I came to live in a foreign country. And yet they might not be the exact reason you might be looking for about why I changed. Maybe there are no reasons. Maybe time is the only reason. So stop giving me those accusatory looks when you seem me wearing a suit, because at some point of time I hated formal clothes. Stop laughing when I say I am a one-woman guy, just because I had a wild phase. Accept it, people change. And no, I will not highlight the negative changes in me as examples when I am talking about change :P

Enough of gyaan. It was more of a venting really. And a random one at that I must say. More interesting posts to come. Oh but wait, I keep forgetting that I have lost all my followers, this blog, for better or for worse, is all for me only :).

Picture reference: http://ittybittyartcommittee.blogspot.com/

The Answer!

As the news about Mr. Jobs passing away hit me, I was tempted to go back to the one video which I have seen a zillion times over the last 5 years, a video that was the guiding light during times in my life when nothing made sense. And as I watched that video for the zillionth time, it suddenly hit me. I could suddenly join the dots. I knew that most of the things he talked about was an answer to "the dilemma" which I talked about in my previous post http://merlins-world.blogspot.com/2011/09/breed.html.

This post will only make sense if you read the post and watch the video below: :)

Filling the gap...

So I thought that I might as well fill the gap... regarding what happened since the time I went underground up till now. You have probably given up on me anyway. And I have no followers :P The few who follow me, also talk to me in real life... so that is no fun. But what the hell, when did I ever care about who is reading my blog (kidding... kidding...).

But hey, there's all this talk about pictures being worth a thousand words and what not. So, in spite of having being accused of being a "man of words" I shall give this a try. Fill you in with all that has happened in my life since I left blogosphere. I think I owe this blog that much. After all what is the point of it all, if you don't know what has been happening in Merlin's world :). So here goes.....

The Indian Apartment:

Somewhere in the middle of last year, I impulsively bought an apartment. An expensive one, oh yes its darn expensive, the most expensive thing I have ever purchased. And I did it sitting here in Stockholm. No planning, no cracking my head about investment risks, just in the middle of a Sunday... wham... and in a week, I had paid the booking amount. All my life's savings, plus a loan. That's Merlin for you :P. But hey, its swanky. Swimming pools, skating rinks, tennis and basketball courts, a gym and sauna... the works. 14th Floor, 3 bedrooms, 1700 sq feet. I feel rich :P

And the Stockholm one:

Nope, I didn't buy this one. Now now, don't get carried away, I mean I am not THAT rich :P. But this is where I have been living for the past more than one year, and me likes this place. When I rent apartments the deciding factor is always the bathroom and the kitchen.. I know.. its weird :P. Pics below are the hall and the kitchen/bar. I wont make you jealous by showing you the awesome shower cabinet :P

Oh, and then I travelled to New York. It was a business trip to Las Vegas, but I did a stopover at NY. I realized I know too many people who live in and around NYC. Stayed over with J and G, they are the "awesomest"!! Wanted to meet D, but was there for only 2 days and couldn't make it. Did manage to meet P and her newly acquired husband. Damn, a few years from now I wonder if I will know whom I am talking about :P.

Above is the Brooklyn Bridge, I love this photograph and the place, and gave myself a pat on the back for this click :). It was so charming just standing there looking out!

The classic "Hey I was in NYC" pic. And the SOL is captivating!

When I said "a picture speaks a thousand words" I meant something like this pic :). On FB I captioned this as "So what if my dog doesn't pee, it still needs to go for a walk" :)

And then I went over to Vegas for my conference. 5 days in Vegas was quite an experience. And the conference was awesome. And my clients were just the best. One of those trips where the universe conspires to make life awesome for you :)

That is Luxor on the Strip

This is the view from The Venetian where I was staying. It is the largest hotel in the world.

And it is called "The Venetian" for a reason. There are Venetian canals inside the hotel. This canal is on the 3rd floor of the hotel, and the "sky" is fake. Even when there one tends to forget that one is not in the open. The gondolas are electronically steered, thought the person does pretend to row.

Oh, and did I mention that I didn't get an ordinary room so I was erm.. kinda "forced" to stay in the Luxury "honeymoon" suite. This pic is not from the hotel website, it is taken from my automatic camera :P

And now you know why I didn't put up a pic of my apartment bathroom, I didn't want it to be compared with this. Oh, and there was a TV on the left hand top corner, which is not visible... but of course watching CNN while you brush your teeth is a basic necessity, isn't it?

And somewhere towards the end of 2010, I made it to India. I planned out a road trip to a few places (now I remember only Yercaud). The highlight was driving the automatic Mitsubishi Outlander, its an awesome beast. And stop calling it a SUV, its not, this thing is called a "crossover" :)

And then, sometime in spring, we went to Narvik. It was an awesome trip with P and C along with us. I had always wanted to go to see the Norwegian fjords. And it was a dream come true. This pic is a View from the Fagernesfjellet restuarant

This is a view from the train.. the awesome norwegian fjords!!

And then I celebrated my bday in July, I remember nearly blogging that day, I tend to get philosophical on bdays, and this bday was kind of a...erm... landmark :P

And then sometime in Spring we managed to visit Göteborg, a city in Sweden which is not as big as Stockholm, but yet a very serene city. We liked the architecture there, more interesting than Stockholm :)

Then, from Göteborg we also went to a place called Trandansen, near Hornborgasjön where hundreds of cranes come once a year on their way back north for the summer. It is called "The crane dance" and it is a sight to watch!

And then the lovely Swedish summer was on!! Had an awesome time in summer. I kinda now believe that in Sweden you tolerate 7 months of harsh dark winter only to see those 2 months of awesome summer... believe me, its worth it!

More of summer at the beach...

This is A and P's house in Danderyd, the place we spend weekends. Love biking around Danderyd whenever I am at their place, reminds me of biking in Jamshedpur!

And that, in a nutshell is what I have been upto since I left. Some more progress, things like I got two promotions, and a much better salary, but then, I have never had complaints in my professional life, you wont hear me cribbing much there :P. I continue to be a guest lecturer in Stockholm University (did I blog about that?) and have been offered a position in their PhD programme, which I am told, is not an easy task. But the professor with whom I deliver lectures is keen to have me as a scholar, and made the arrangements. Considering that it takes 8 years for an "industrial" PhD, I am not sure I will join, but more about that later.

Phew, this has been tough, explaining my life in the past 1 year in one post. Of course there will be spillovers... so more in some other posts!